Writing

I've been writing a lot lately. Obviously, not here. But I have had the opportunity to write letters, mostly to my friend Sherry who has moved to Brooklyn to attend the New York Academy of Art. I forgot how cathartic it is, seeing written word on paper. And unlike e-mail, when I get a return letter, I can't reference what I wrote to her, and I have to rely on memory. (Oh, my lord, have I told you about my non-memory?) It has been a wonderful exercise in written correspondence.

If you're interested in me sending you a letter, leave a comment below!

I had a thought this morning about my new job - a temporary position in data entry at a cell phone tower company. It's both challenging and rewarding. I listen to audiobooks while I enter information, and I'm not side-tracked by constant interruptions from co-workers or competing projects. At the end of the week, I feel like I have contributed to society and earned an honest wage. I need to find a permanent position like this.

There's a voice in the back of my head saying "but wait, Katie, what about that Social Work degree you were going for? Does that mean nothing to you?" To which I reply, yes, it means a lot to me. I am not going back to school, and do not plan on completing this degree, which is a bummer because I have a huge student loan to pay off. I think I learned much more about myself in SW school than about the field. Let's face it - I'm a mess, and I can't be expected to help someone through their problems if I can't even confront my own. I set myself up to fail, and - ta-da! it worked! My involuntary withdrawal from a graduate program at the 8th best School for Social Work in the country was much more a cry for help than getting screwed over by a couple of deficient professors.

This year has been a lesson in learning what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. I may not know exactly what, but I've ruled out "anything in the human services field or human services related or mental health reform". That last sentence sends my heart rate up a few notches - there's so much work that needs to be done on a broken system! Who is going to help all the people that need me? This is exactly why it's not me. I can't help everyone. I need projects that have a beginning and an ending to fulfill my satisfaction quotient.

I will leave on the following anecdote, regarding working with engineers. Somehow between Women's Studies classes and working with mostly female-dominated workplaces since undergrad, I forgot that there are still male-dominated workplaces where females also work. My office environment is different from any other that I've worked at in this way. And engineers are different in that everything has to have a function. The following interaction took place on the elevator this week:

M: It looks like you have green around the edges of your glasses!
K: Yes, it's an acrylic around the glass.
M: What's it for, though?
K: (dumbstruck) To look pretty.

That's something that will not change - there will always be material things in my life just to look pretty.

Four Way Stop

I was at a four-way stop today where one driver was confused whether it was "his turn" or not, which reminded me of this story my Paw Paw used to tell, it goes something like this:

Out in the country, if four cars arrive at a four way stop at the relatively same time, the right of way is not the first driver at the crossing, but the car with the biggest tires.

As I was continuing my drive home, I started thinking. Now is a good time to (metaphorically) get the biggest tires. I feel like I need something to show that I have control over something, even if it's as simple as getting the right of way at a four way stop.

Unrelated:

And here's a picture of my nephew, Joshua, hamming it up for the camera